Of Might and Magic
by jayley
Summary: ...and doubt. Sometimes Merlin couldn't help but doubt his destiny. Merlin had been waiting. And waiting for the time of magic to return. But nothing was happening. Arthur had his doubts. Lately he'd even noticed that Merlin looked at him differently sometimes. Almost as if he was disappointed in him. He couldn't help but wonder if the kingdom was really better due to his rule.


**Of Might and Magic**

Sometimes Merlin couldn't help but doubt his destiny. Sure, he'd been told he would unite the land of Albion with Arthur as king, but sometimes Merlin would look at Arthur and truly wonder what Arthur brought to the equation.

Now Merlin wasn't proud of the wonderings, as he himself had often been the man to tell Arthur exactly how much he believed in him, but lately Merlin had been waiting. And waiting for the time of magic to return. But nothing was happening.

Arthur was now king, and Gwen his queen, yet there seemed to be no progress. It was moments like this, with Merlin sitting alone staring out of the battlements at the sky that he allowed himself to question why he'd ever fought so strongly for the king. Merlin knew that as of this moment, with years of serving Arthur it was truly because Arthur was his friend, but before it had been based solely on their destiny. And every so often Merlin wondered about the what if, if it had been another's strength and ability to lead, where he and Arthur would actually be.

Every time a case of magic appeared and Arthur reacted, not exactly as Uther, but much less accepting than a king ready to return magic to a kingdom, Merlin felt as if his destiny was being chipped away. It was like somewhere along the path of protecting Arthur because he was destined to become a friend of magic, he'd neglected to do his part in showing Arthur how friendly magic could be. But another, nastier part of him sometimes felt that it was Arthur's fault, Arthur's problems that delayed their destiny, and that if it had been someone else, maybe anyone else that Merlin's job would already be done.

Of course Merlin realized his thoughts were somewhat drastic, that Arthur had truly changed over the years, but he couldn't help it sometimes. He had not voiced his worries to Gaius or Kilgarrah though. What could they really say that Merlin himself didn't already know?

After Merlin felt he'd been brooding long enough he got up and erased the doubts from his mind, to be thought of another day, because this day was the anniversary of Arthur's first year of rule, and no matter any of the doubts swirling in Merlin's mind, Arthur was his friend first and foremost. And as long as that remained true there was still hope yet.

* * *

Arthur had his doubts about this day. As he watched Guinevere run a brush through her hair he couldn't help but wonder if the kingdom was really better due to his rule. Certainly the citizens of Camelot loved him more than Morgana, but what did that really prove? Anyone would love Arthur compared to a tyrant.

He hadn't spoken to Gwen about his doubts, but lately he'd even been noticing that Merlin looked at him differently sometimes. Almost as if he was disappointed in him. Arthur wasn't sure when Merlin became someone that he valued the opinion of, but he was.

It worried Arthur that arguably his closest friend thought he was ruling the kingdom into a state of ruin. Of course he knew Merlin would never say it like that, but what else could explain that fleeting look of utter sadness on Merlin's face when he thought no one was looking?

Every time a case of magic came before the court and Arthur did not sentence them to death he felt a sense of pride from Gwen and some of the knights. That he would not use his power as Uther had once done. But then he'd look out of the corner of his eye and see Merlin's face so perfectly calm, neither proud nor happy, and doubt would swirl around him.

Was he better than his father?

Was he worse?

His musings were cut short as Merlin entered, again without knocking, with that ridiculous smile on his face, and suddenly Arthur could see it now, why the doubt hadn't eaten him alive. While Merlin gave him doubt, he also gave him hope.

Hope that he could be better. Hope that under his rule Camelot and its people would flourish. Hope that Arthur could be the king Merlin always told him he could be.

* * *

And then one day he was.

* * *

**A/N: I actually wrote this when series 5 first started airing in the UK, since Merlin seemed so down, and I thought for good reason. I couldn't take too much darkness so I had to write it ending nicely:) I of course got the title from heroes of might and magic-loved that game-with Merlin being magic and Arthur being might:) Thanks for reading!**


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